WASHINGTON - In an effort to appease his apolitical fans and stay compliant with a mandate from his editor, soccer journalist Brian Talmund turned in a blank page for his report on the assigned cities for the upcoming 2026 World Cup and closed his laptop for the evening.

“They didn’t want any politics involved so I reported everything I could,” stated Talmund to The Nutmeg News.

According to the turned in report, the only thing Talmund could do was number the pages as even turning in a city byline would indicate the political leanings of the city upon which he was reporting and the lobbying therein.

“I was told to strictly separate politics and sport,” stated Talmund. “And there is literally no way that I can report on anything in which FIFA is involve…. or soccer, or Washington D.C. without talking about politics. So this way I’m going to call it a day and try to go to bed early for once.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as people on Twitter call this a political statement clearly designed to inflame tensions with republicans.