CHICAGO - Chicago Fire fan Harry Wilson reportedly spent the afternoon looking through his apartment for the terms and conditions on his Fire Till I Die tattoo he received 10 years ago.
It’s GO time. SCRAMBLE THE MALORT!
“I’m Fire Till I Die, but I’m pretty certain that the contract I signed said if Peter Wilt makes a new team or if I get tired of the team, I can switch to Fire Till I’m Tired,” stated Wilson to The Nutmeg News. “I thought that there was also a clause that says as long as I didn’t have any pictures taken of the tattoo that I could get it covered up or replaced for 50% off by my original tattoo artist.”
Friends say that Wilson has been looking for a reason to leave for nearly every season since he started following the Fire.
“I don’t know why he keeps doing it,” stated good friend Hector Villanueva. “Just go, man. Or don’t. Shit. Just do what I did and go back to watching Cruz Azul.”
In a moment of clarity Wilson stated, “I’m gonna be honest, I didn’t really like the Fire anyway, I just liked complaining. Chicago soccer is just so depressing.”
When asked about if Wilson knew the Chicago Red Stars were pretty successful he said, “they’re too far away.”
The Nutmeg News will have more as Wilson gets ready to sign his Chicago NISA fandom on the condition that the logo is good.