MLS Swear Jar Provides Funds For Post Game Orange Slices And Pizza

Orlando, FL - The implementation of a Major League Soccer (MLS) swear jar was brought about, before the tournament, to provide funds for post game orange slices and pizza for the players and referees, it was announced.

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“We told the players not to limit themselves, but that we would have a swear jar available for all kinds of delicate and indelicate on-field swearing,” stated Mark Abbot, president of Major League Soccer.

Players were told that a casual, “shit,” would be a $10 contribution, while a, “fuck” would be a $50 swear jar contribution.

“There’s an escalating amount of money that goes in the swear jar from low level swearing offences all the way up to a near-camera energetic, ‘motherfucker.’ It’s important for us to allow the players to be themselves while also finding a way to mitigate this somewhat,” stated one MLS source. “While we don’t want to stop swearing, but we could also encourage our players to go to more non-traditional swearing and insults.”

Rumors keep swirling that MLS officials have reached out to Scottish players and consultants for a litany of inventive and non-repetitive swear words.

“The Scottish are the masters of the game,” stated one anonymous player. “We are learning a lot, although we need a translator for most of these references.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as league officials can’t determine whether or not to fine Alejandro Bedoya for using the word combination of Jobby Scrote.