WASHINGTON - President Donald Trump, today, stated that he would not participate in a virtual-style watch party with the American Outlaws for any upcoming international games that the team plays while he is still President.
“NO VIRTUAL WATCH. PARTY. VOTE. CORRUPTION. CNN FAKE NEWS. #BIGGESTCONSPIRACYINHISTORY,” Tweeted a bucolic President Of The United States. “2ND AMMENDMANT! LIES! MICHAEL BRADLEY FAKE NEWS”
Sources indicate that advisers to the President attempted to get him to commit to a series of virtual watch parties in order to support the USMNT and give him a patriotic edge, however the President passed on the idea in a series of rants on twitter.
“CANT PLAY CORN HOLE VIRTUAL,” read one of the Tweets from the President Of The United States who then fired off a few more tweets.
“CANNOT ICE BRO ZACK PARTY SCREEN IN WAY, LEFT WING ELECTION INTERFERENCE. FAKE NEWS.”
“WOW THERES WOMEN ON THIS CALL ARE USWNT PLAYING? CUZ U LIE TO ME TANNER. LEFT WING EMBARRASMENT.”
“PATRIOTIC AMERICANS DONT WATCH UNITED STATES SOCCER, LUV U GOD”
“CRAZY NANCY = COMMUNIST RUSSIA = 25TH AMENDMENT - CORONAVIRUS DEFEATED”
“USMNT WIN + JEFF CAMRON PATRIOT”
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the President accuses US Soccer of colluding with foreign federations to not play games with fans.