UNITED STATES - The legions of very passionate women’s soccer fans in the United States announced their return to hibernation for another four years as the United States won the FIFA World Cup by defeating the Netherlands, today.
“We, the best fans in the world, had a great time following the World Cup these past few weeks,” stated the gathered masses at watch parties in Kansas City, Boston, New York, and Orlando. “We would like to thank the United States women for winning the World Cup and we promise to return, mostly, in 2023 as long as the team is good and has a chance to win the World Cup then as well.”
Reportedly, the best fans of Women’s Soccer in the world stated that a few of their number would watch the USWNT at the Olympics during the off year. As well, a very few number stated that they would watch any other game the USWNT would play in the in between time, however the vast majority indicated that four weeks was enough.
“We can’t be expected to support either physically or financially the Women’s Game if it doesn’t involve the United States Women’s Team. There is actually no other team in the United States but the United States Women,” stated the collected masses. “We wish there was some other opportunity to support another team, but there isn’t much time in our lives…. our favorite USWNT player isn’t on it…. we can’t find it on the television…..the league feesls minor league to us because no one is supporting it ….. we don’t know where they have teams…. no one watches the league anyway…. the quality isn’t as good as the USWNT…. we don’t want to drive that far… the stadium isn’t easily available….. it’s too hot…. it’s too cold….. we can’t root against our favorite player, anyway, you see it is really complicated.”
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as a group of fans that can’t be bothered to purchase tickets to an NWSL game spends a few weeks planning her finances in order to spend the thousands of dollars she will need to travel any of the potential host countries for 2023.