Robert Kraft Thrilled With Recent Revolution Attendance

Foxborough, MA - A thoroughly surprised Robert Kraft was reportedly thrilled that the New England Revolution pulled in 10,000 fans to their game against FC Cincinnati as he stated, “people still come OUT to this shit?”

The owner and loyal patron of the Revolution stated that he was, “frankly shocked that anyone even knew the team still existed.”

Despite his best efforts, the Patriots owner has not killed the Revolution fanbase yet as he eeks out another year hoping on an influx of summer children with soccer camps, the destitute, the morally bankrupt, and people who realize there are ways to get drunk with your family in public during the day without seeming socially irresponsible.

“Given the level of effort I’ve put in, I’m amazed that anyone is still coming out,” stated Kraft to The Nutmeg News. “I put more effort in soliciting indentured sex slaves than I have with the Revolution. 10,000 people! WOWY! Golly Gee WILLIKER!”

With Kraft’s ebullient mood on full display he then ran over to ask how the Patriots were doing and if there was any possibility of putting in some more effort to push them over the hump to another Super Bowl.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Kraft forgets the team ever existed right around five minutes from now.