CHICAGO - An unhinged Nelson Rodriguez reportedly ranted, "I killed Chivas USA and by God I'll do it again," to a collected group of Chicago Fire fans who voiced their displeasure at the recent draconian sanctions levied by the front office.
According to sources who were there, Rodriguez was asked about the recent sanctions and outright bans with season ticket revocations handed down to both individual Fire fans, Section 8 and Sector Latino when an irate Rodriguez launched into his now famous statement.
Rodriguez reportedly ripped up a picture of the Harlem End and challenged Fire supporter Jay Delgado to a fist fight stating, "I AM THE LAW!"
Fans lobbied for over a month for this face to face time with Rodriguez in an attempt to have some kind of verbal communication with the front office of the Fire, but apparently they were blindsided by the pure rage of Rodriguez as he paced the room like a caged tiger.
"I DRINK THE BLOOD OF MY ENEMIES," stated Rodriguez as he attempted to arm wrestle supporter Heather Summers. "YOU ARE ALL ENEMIES OF THE STATE. YOU ARE THE FAKE NEWS. THE FIRE WILL FALL AS DID THEIR PREDECESSOR IN CHIVAS USA. I WILL THEN TAKE THE SHAPE OF GARBER THE DESTROYER AND MOVE UPON THE CREW BEFORE DESTROYING THE REVOLUTION OF NEW ENGLAND. YOU WILL ALL KNOW PAIN."
Mr. Rodriguez then ripped his shirt off, flipped a table over and left while jauntily whistling a tune.
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the Fire tweet about their J.D. Power ranking of #1 fan satisfaction for the Chicago area in 2016.