L.A. Galaxy Acquire LeBron James

LOS ANGELES - The L.A. Galaxy announced on Saturday morning that they signed 33 year old former Cleveland Cavaliers player LeBron James to a 5 year designated player contract using all their available TAM, GAM and trading away all their international roster spots to DC United.

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This blockbuster deal comes after the Galaxy and head coach Sigi Schmid admitted that they weren't getting enough production in the midfield.

"We felt that we needed a better number 10 in the midfield that could control the game," stated Schmid to The Nutmeg News. "LeBron's ability to split the defense with passes and see the court will absolutely extend to the game of soccer and we are happy to have him here until he decides to retire in a year or two."

As far as tactics go, Schmid said he was taking it one game at a time as he expects, "LeBron will just um... go over .... there and um.... do... a pass thing to someone up top. It'll all work out."

Sources close to Mr. James indicate that the former Cavaliers star saw this as a way to extend his career as he indicated, "At least in soccer my team isn't going to let me down...... right?"

Fans were reportedly over the moon about this decision as many of them couldn't believe that they acquired the former NBA Champion.

"This is bullshit, right?" stated Jerry Evans of Silver Lake. "Bron is coming here to retire, just like Zlatan. I am not excited for this crap at all," stated the excited fan.

Sportswriters across the blogosphere were also thrilled as this finally allowed them to write their long held, "what if the best athlete's in the United States played soccer," columns with the first Bleacher Report article titled -- LOOK OUT WORLD! WE GOT NEXT! -- to be published on Sunday morning. 

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as LeBron attends his first practice and demands more time on the ball.