3000 Person Stand Built Just For LAFC Owners Nears Completion

LOS ANGELES - A 3000 person stand built just for their owners at Los Angeles Football Club's new stadium nears completion as the new MLS side prepares for their eventual first game in the Banc of California Stadium.

 A portion of Los Angeles Football Club's ownership group.

A portion of Los Angeles Football Club's ownership group.

The stand was built to allow a portion of the ownership group of LAFC to attend home matches and will function as a hierarchical sorting mechanism for club importance.

"The stand will indicate the person that is more important in terms of ownership," stated LAFC public relations executive Paula Aberdeen. "The lower you sit to the field, the more important your voice is to the club. The higher up you set, the less valid your feelings are on recent trades, acquisitions and financial matters."

LAFC reportedly spent additional funds to build the new super structure capable of supporting part of the ownership group, while ensuring tight controls over who is able to attend.

"For our tier 4 owners, they are not allowed to attend a game until they complete an onboarding program, achieve the necessary levels, complete their psychiatric audit, and find a small token hidden under West Hardy street between Inglewood and La Brea."

Sources within the club indicate that bidding rights for the seats in the new stand are at an all time high with many owners claiming some long distance relation to Peter Guber and Will Ferrell, "... you know... from his improv days."

The Nutmeg News will have more on the owners as they bring on an additional 2000 members with a discussion about expanded seating.