General Allocation Money Seeking Fresh Start In Toronto

TORONTO - Toronto FC, on Tuesday, announced that they acquired General Allocation-Money from DC United in an effort to give the league financial asset a fresh start in the midfield of the MLS Champions.

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"I've been looking forward to this move for the past few weeks," stated General Allocation-Money to The Nutmeg News. "I don't want to talk out of turn, but I wasn't being utilized properly by Ben Olsen and the DC United front office."

Sources indicate that Mr Allocation-Money began seeking a fresh start after it became clear that D.C. United had no intention of using it during the 2017 or 2018 or 2019 season.

"GAM just needed a new start and a new perspective," stated Toronto FC manager Greg Vanney. "We plan on utilizing him extensively and we know that he can see the results we've had with other money in the past."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Mr Allocation-Money finds it difficult to adjust to the Toronto real estate market.