Bidding War Escalates For Player Rights To Cow Rampaging Through City

NEW YORK - Red Bull New York, today, announced their intention of signing the Cow rampaging through Queens, this afternoon, to their developmental squad as a bidding war broke out between all factions of New York City soccer teams as to whom would have the rights to the home grown bovine.

We see him as a bulldozing #6, so to speak, instead of a box to box midfielder.

We see him as a bulldozing #6, so to speak, instead of a box to box midfielder.

The New York Cosmos also placed a bid due to Cow playing in their territory as they claimed rights over the hooved menace stating, "The New York Cosmos and the NASL have rights on this cow. It's in Queens, we know the mother and Cow hasn't signed a development contract with Major League Soccer."

However, despite the Cosmos and Red Bull New York interest, Major League Soccer stated that NYCFC actually held the right of first refusal on Cow and was willing to listen to offers of trades for future considerations and TAM/GAM in order to gain a benefit from the cow. NYCFC is, reportedly, also considering playing Cow in Mix Diskerud's position as it could only offer more going forward than the player did in 2016.

"We believe in the power and capabilities of Cow," stated Patrick Viera. "However, we must do our due diligence and listen to offers from all teams. We plan on finding a place for him in our lineup unless something changes."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Don Garber is called in to mediate the internal dispute between MLS clubs.