Vancouver, BC - In an attempt to stop the devolution of Vancouver into a warzone between free salt and non-salt factions, Vancouver Whitecaps fans made an attempt to provide extra salt to the area by tweeting about the team.
"You call this an offseason? This is a fucking dumpster fire," stated Whitecaps fan @oustedfartsnwewin. "Hopefully the front office is doing more than the bare minimum because that's what has gotten us our sterling record over the last few years."
"Yes, I WOULD like to miss the post season again," stated Southsider Jennifer Smith. "This whole organization is just inept... INEPT... Can't we just get one solid defender on our team?"
So much salt has been provided by Whitecaps fans online, that the Street Cleaning Grant Program put forth an effort to figure out a way to take the online salt and convert it to salt on the streets.
"We have a tweet for your street program," stated David Holmes, director of the street cleaning program. "All the Whitecaps fans streets are now exceptionally clean and heavily salted."
As well, British Columbia Officials are working on converting all the extra salt into gifts to the Vancouver Popular Peoples Front Of Salt Freedom to quell the disturbances.
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the extra salt continues until a player signing is announced.