$200 Million Dollar MLS Expansion Fees Now Include Still Frame Warmer And World Traveler Bar

NEW YORK - Major League Soccer, today, announced that their increase to $200 million dollar expansion fees will now include a Still Frame warmer and World Traveler bars that evoke a smell of adventure and dark pomegranate.

"We also have a nutritional shake, detox mixture and aura cleansing by Herbalife, if you are so inclined. Make $100 million dollars from home, now! ASK US HOW!"

"We also have a nutritional shake, detox mixture and aura cleansing by Herbalife, if you are so inclined. Make $100 million dollars from home, now! ASK US HOW!"

"It was important for us to not only arbitrarily set the price tag for franchises at $200 million dollars, but as well offer some kind of benefit for our new MLS Consultants," stated president of Major League Soccer, Mark Abbot. "With our August special package, you can get started with a new MLS franchise by receiving a Warmer of the Month as well as a scent of the month as well as a 600 page rule book on financial transactions and the benefits of a closed system and low wage salary cap for Major League Soccer."

According to inside sources, the acquisition of a new franchise for prospecting MLS Consultants has become quite a bit more exciting after Major League Soccer switched from offering Amway to offering scent bars. 

"It's become quite the scene!" stated one anonymous employee. "Why the other day, David Beckham said the only reason why he was purchasing a Miami franchise was to obtain a rare Lace Warmer for his house in Malibu."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Major League Soccer relentlessly spams the Facebook feed of all the companies thinking about bidding on a franchise about the August deals and workshops to become an MLS consultant.