Despite being screwed repeatedly by desperate writers hell bent on creating their own narrative, soccer fans across the United States and Canada continued to talk openly to idiot journalists.
"I'm interviewing people about a story on.... um ..... puppies and soccer, so if you have any dirt I can use on your friends that happened at a game, please let me know"
The Nutmeg News spoke to some guy that we think was called Racist McJerk in Seattle about this and he had the following (which was lazily transcribed and heavily edited by our interns to fit the theme of this piece) to say, "All soccer fans in the United States are racist and speak in British accents. We all voted for Brexit, we eat Weetabix, and we all listen to Oi! music while flying a Union Jack flag and sending money to the EDL. It's completely logical that we talk to journalists all the time."
The Nutmeg News will not issue an apology for any mistakes with regards to interview transcribing.
Reportedly, Columbus fans were even worse as our reporter heard from friends that heard from someone else on Twitter that Columbus fans were still actively talking to journalists just waiting to twist their words to fit a story agenda.
The Nutmeg News spoke to soccer writer Bert Tamrand about his piece, Blood in the Stands: The horrific rise of the North American Ultra.
"I spoke to a number of different Columbus Crew fans and managed to coddle and caress their quotes into a story that is essentially a hit piece about burgeoning soccer hooliganism. I'm planning on utilizing the fight had between Crew supporters and West Ham supporters 8 years ago to further my agenda. To make it difficult for anyone to refute, I've included factual statements about toxic hyper masculinity and fans wanting to emulate eastern European hooligans while including a nice long story about racist and far-right politics in Croatian football firms. This way, there are factual things that would work in a well handled and researched book that will make it nearly impossible for anyone to fully dismiss the book that I'm writing."
Tamrand also claimed that he spoke with LA Galaxy fans, Sporting Kansas City Fans and Red Bull New York fans while obtaining quotes from group leaders that he plans on utilizing by either twisting their meaning or placing them in an entirely different context than the words were utilized in the the first place.
"I'm also just planning on cutting a lot of things. If it doesn't fit the story, then it doesn't fit my book. I need sensational and over the top items to fit my book, otherwise it isn't going to sell," stated Mr Tamrand.
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as supporters groups continue to trust random journalists with agendas.