CHICAGO - The Chicago Fire and owner Adrew Hauptman announced that they set sights on a new record after the team finally reached their goal of two years without a road win.
"It's quite a record for us to achieve, but we are always hungry," stated Hauptman to a mirror where he frequently conducts fake press conferences about the team he owns. "We set out in 2014 to ensure that we would make it to 2016 without an away win, and by god we can do one more. The last road win we had was against the New England Revolution on July 12, 2014. We can go 3 or even 4 years without an away win! We can really do it!"
Reportedly, insiders for the Fire say that the ownership and management of the Chicago Fire want to see if they can go 2 years without a win at home stating, "not being able to win on the road isn't even a challenge anymore."
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the Fire try to finish under a point per game for the second season in a row.