Area Man To Test Xenophobic Personality For Copa América

Denver, CO - Soccer fan Patrice Holmes is excited for the upcoming Copa América tournament as, according to him, it allows him to try on an abrasive xenophobic personality for a few months.

"I'm not sure what it's like to hate Colombians and Chileans as much as I hate Mexicans, but I'm willing to give it a try," stated Holmes as he tied an American flag around his shoulders. 

"This is just getting stale, and the chance to yell 'MOW MY LAWN' at Ecuadorian fans is a chance I can't turn down" - Patrice Holmes

"This is just getting stale, and the chance to yell 'MOW MY LAWN' at Ecuadorian fans is a chance I can't turn down" - Patrice Holmes

According to friends, Holmes has been itching to try out an expanded xenophobic personality, and the upcoming Copa América Centenario tournament being held in the United States allows him a new frontier for his adapted irrational jingoistic hatred that enables him to branch out beyond CONCACAF.

"I've been looking up racial slurs for the Bolivians, the Peruvians and Brazilians, because I'm really tired of randomly deciding to hate Costa Rica and Paraguay every two years," stated Holmes to The Nutmeg News on Tuesday. "This tournament is really going to test my inventive use of Wikipedia and Google to find new and inventive ways to slur other peoples, nations, and to proclaim the God given grace of the best nation on the face of the planet, THE United States Of America.... may God bless her."

Inside sources to Mr Holmes life indicate that he is already ramping up an intense Facebook commenting campaign to let anyone know, on random posts, that America is #1 and everyone else is awful.

The Nutmeg News asked Mr. Holmes about his post Copa América career and received the following reply, "When it's over, I'm going to pretend like I did nothing wrong and go back to my life as a tax adjuster. Hopefully everyone within my social media sphere will just randomly forget about those 4 months where I turned into an asshole."