American Outlaws Declare War On USWNT

WASHINGTON - Members of the American Outlaws declared war on the US Women's National Team (USWNT) via a T.I.F.O display at the recent United States v New Zealand friendly.

THE MEN WILL NO LONGER BE SUBJUGATED BY THE FEMALE TEAM!

THE MEN WILL NO LONGER BE SUBJUGATED BY THE FEMALE TEAM!

The display, which was planned over the course of 3 years, stated, "First In War, First In Peace, First In U.S. Soccer," which is, of course, a reference to the US Women, who are currently first in U.S. Soccer by virtue of winning 4 Olympic Championships and 3 World Cup Championships.

The Nutmeg News spoke to AO T.I.F.O director Samuel Pennence who stated, "NO LONGER WILL THE USMNT BE SECOND IN SOCCER. WE ARE FIRST IN U.S. SOCCER. WE WILL NOT BE SUBJUGATED BY THOSE WITH X CHROMOSOMES."

Reportedly, the American Outlaws mixed messaging has some questioning what the T.I.F.O actually meant with some stating that the phrase was actually not even referencing the team.

The Nutmeg News spoke to Professor of T.I.F.O for Wellesley College, Jane Goodinson, who stated, "making a T.I.F.O display for a sporting event that only references yourself is tantamount to extreme narcissism. What we can assume, however, is that with the stated goal of the men being first in soccer that someone else is second in soccer. If the members of this group were referencing themselves, this then would be seen as a poorly painted slam towards every other city and chapter of the American Outlaws in the United States which, of course, doesn't make sense either. So we can only extrapolate that the American Outlaws are declaring war on the USWNT."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the American Outlaws invade the training facilities of the USWNT to sabotage anything they can find in order to ensure that the USMNT will have a more successful 2017.