Woman Plots Coverage Of Toledo United For Selfish Reasons

Toledo, OH - Toledo native and 13 ABC reporter Deborah Hastings has admitted that she plans to cover new Premier League Of America team Toledo United just so she can pithily use a "Holy Toledo" column title after a particularly stirring Toledo United comeback win.

 United we try to find affordable housing for our players while acknowledging the limits of our budget.

United we try to find affordable housing for our players while acknowledging the limits of our budget.

"I try to shoehorn it in nearly any place that I can, but no one really cares about utilizing the phrase Holy Toledo for budgetary reforms and voting procedures during city council meetings," stated Hastings. "Sports gives me the one avenue to really cash in on my ability to execute the Holy Toledo line and I plan on using it, over and over and over again."

While unable to accurately describe exactly why she enjoys utilizing what is likely a 1930's phrase akin to "get on the trolley", Ms Hastings stated that she didn't care. "I'm working in conjunction with 13-ABC to cover sports in Toledo. At best we have stories about Whitmer, the University of Toledo, the Mud Hens, and The Walleyes. There's a lack of Toledo related stories and I'm planning on using this opportunity to go whole hog on hackney'd phrases and backwater slang. Hell, the last time we used the phrase Holy Toledo was when we covered the Toledo Mud Hens new menu choices during April of 2015 and they announced a Holy Toledo Chicken Sandwich at the BirdCage Bar and Grill. I honestly can't tell you how excited I am at this opportunity. "

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Ms Hastings tries, over the course of the season, to weigh the importance of which game best fits the description of Holy Toledo.