LA Galaxy Add Geritol And Ensure As Sponsors

LOS ANGELES - The Los Angeles Galaxy have announced Geritol and Ensure as sponsors for the upcoming 2016 season.

 Well, Steven? Do you have tired blood?

Well, Steven? Do you have tired blood?

During the 2015 season the LA Galaxy's lineup was found, by assistant coach Pat Noonan, of having tired blood and needing some pep in their step. In order to facilitate a spring back to normal play for Steven Gerrard, Ashley Cole, Jelle Van Damme, and Robbie Keane, Noonan worked with the vitamin manufacturer Geritol to ensure that his squad has the vim and vigor necessary to complete the 2016 season.

 Something for Ashley Cole to aspire towards.

Something for Ashley Cole to aspire towards.

"We were definitely tired in 2015," stated Noonan to The Nutmeg News on Wednesday. "Steven in particular would return back from training to his house in Malibu to drink Bovril and watch re-runs of Matlock. He would get especially cranky if he missed his early bird dinner, which is why we tried to work with his availability and schedule. In 2016, we are hoping that an early bed time, some Geritol before bed and Ensure when he wakes up will really get him motivated to play in 2016."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this when the LA Galaxy interns try to explain why people shouldn't sext to Ashley Cole.