Sepp Blatter Making It Rain For Women's Soccer

Zurich, CH - Sepp Blatter, today, announced his initiative to make it rain in the club as part of a trickle down theory to help women's soccer. 

"I plan on making sure that the females in the game that can't afford to play soccer professionally can now work in a strip club, where I will make it rain just like this for their finances," said Blatter as he tossed a handful of cash into the air.

 THROW YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR - IF YOU'RE A TRUE PLAYER

THROW YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR - IF YOU'RE A TRUE PLAYER

Blatter said that while some might find this policy sexist and exclusive that he doesn't believe an old man tossing money at young women will become a problem from an equality standpoint, "We are planning on ensuring that we have poles for male players that cannot afford their debts as well. I have been informed that if I make my strip club a mixed gender zone that I cannot get sued for gender discrimination. I believe in equal exploitation as long as everyone understands that there basically won't be any male dancers."

Blatter's club will be known as "Uncle Sepp's Tight Pants" and will be opening worldwide in Berlin, Tokyo and Rapid City, South Dakota (next to the Shotgun Willies).

Mr. Blatter finished his remarks by addressing the assembled press corps, "I'm offering 10,000 euros to the first person to massage my feet and I'm willing to go up to 50,000 euros if you are an adventurous person. I have a camera and a van, we can make history tonight."