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BREAKING NEWS: "Pirlo Not Athletic Enough For Major League Soccer" Announces Local Moron

June 4, 2015

San Francisco, CA - Local moron Jasper Hargreaves announced today that "Andrea Pirlo is not athletic enough for Major League Soccer" prompting a rebuttal from his friends.

That response was delivered by Mr Paul Blares of Oakland, CA which stated, "Shut the fuck up, Jasper."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as it develops.

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