Post FIFA, Blatter Plans To Run North American Supporters Group

Zurich, CH - Sepp Blatter confirmed today that he has thought about his future life plans after stepping down from the FIFA presidency for massive corruption, financial improprieties and eating the pizza of Ex-Co members from the shared company fridge.

"I'm planning on running a Supporters Group in North America. Running a group as a non-profit? Limited financial oversight by people who are gainfully employed at jobs which have nothing to do with financial management? Funds contributed by eager people who want to appear to be the biggest and truest fan in their group? It is perhaps the most fertile ground for future corruption and financial improprieties." said Blatter.

"It should be easy enough to start funneling money away from t-shirt sales and tifo donations as my group will be required to be a non-profit organization and won't want to attract the attention of the government by reporting large sums of money. Given that the status of my group will be made to be a sole source of pride, the idea of challenging what should be unlimited and thoughtless support of this group and thus the team we support will make anyone who does so look like a turncoat. Thus I can ensure that no one will ever decide to investigate my financial skimming and the selling of our future brand for pure financial gain."

Blatter indicated that while he hasn't decided which league or which team, that he is confident that he can easily get away with robbing people of their hard earned money because they will simply ask him to do so because of cool t-shirt designs.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as it happens.