Pittsburgh, PA - Desperate for a break from reality, soccer fan Audra Wallace turned to the MLS Power Rankings in an effort to escape the current world.

“Ahh, this is more like it,” stated Wallace as she looked through the rankings which transported her to a different world full of possibilities and beliefs coexisting as one.

“It’s a like a calm cool drip of water down my back as I crawl across the hot, dry landscape of awful news and a world gone mad,” stated Wallace to The Nutmeg News. “Reading the rankings makes me feel like I’m in an alternate world where Miami might be good, and LAFC never does anything wrong. It’s like my fan fiction where the Pittsburgh Riverhounds are in MLS, the leagues in the United States are vertical and all soccer fans have 51% ownership in their favorite team.”

Sources say that Wallace was inundated with all the awful news of the day over and over and over again as she logged into social media before deciding to cleanse her feed with a visit to the alternate world of the MLS Power Rankings.

“In this Power Rankings world I have one job that covers my expenses, groceries don’t cost me $250 per visit and my mom calls me on my Birthday out of love and not obligation,” stated Wallace. “Ahhh power rankings, in this world I am free.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Wallace writes an erotic fan fiction about the MLS Power Rankings, Sebastian Frei, and a mysterious, brooding bundle of tentacles named Gnorvis who wants to find human satisfaction in sport …. and beyond.