Don Garber Announces, "DO Cross The line," Campaign

LOS ANGELES - At his State Of The Union speech, Commissioner Don Garber announced a new DO Cross The Line campaign for MLS ownership groups.

“We’ve been too strict with the morality monitoring in recent years,” stated Garber to gathered reporters. “I still regret that we removed Dell Loy Hansen from ownership and the Jorge Vergara situation was just unfortunate. I am announcing a new DO Cross The Line Campaign that will free up our ownership groups to do whatever they want at any time without repercussion.”

Sources indicate that the DO Cross The Line campaign will educate owners that they can get away with literally anything they want as long as they are making money for the league.

“Owners have been informed that impeding an investigation, sexually harassing women, sexually assaulting women, racial abuse, blackmailing cities for public money investments into stadiums and stating repeated willful falsehoods to the paying customers are all ok, as long as the team is bringing in the cash to the league,” stated one league insider.

“The DO Cross The Line campaign will start with a series of videos on how to arrange after hours hotel visits between male executives and female staff before breaking out into groups discussing ways to deflect public accusations of sexual harassment.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Commissioner Garber announces that Merritt Paulson will receive a bonus for having more than 2 ongoing investigations into his team over the past year.