MLS Announces League Will Restart Possibly June 5th, Or 6th, Or The 12th, Or The 14th, Or Maybe The 21st, Or Possibly July 24th, Or Maybe August 3rd

NEW YORK - Major League Soccer (MLS), today, announced that the league will restart possibly June 5th, or 6th, or the 12th, or the 14th, or maybe the 21st, or possibly July 24th, or maybe August 3rd.

“We want to announce that we are definitely opening soon. Please continue to pay for the upcoming games that are starting very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very soon,” stated league director of scheduling Harry Barnes.

“Again, I would like to stress that we want to announce that we are definitely opening again as soon as we can. Look, it’s possible that the league has already started and you just don’t know it yet. Likely it is YOU, the fake news media, that are wrong about MLS not playing games.”

According to insider sources, the league is desperate to continue pushing out the time in which they will cancel the season and reformat the competition temporarily into a Totino’s Pizza Roll eating contest.

“They see this as an opportunity to pivot. Competitive eating is the future,” stated one anonymous insider.

For their part, though, Major League Soccer remains steadfast as Barnes indicated, “We are starting again very soon. Please continue scheduling your payments.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as MLS insists the 2020 season will happen in January of 2021.