United States Of America - The Presidents Cup entered the 4,209th minute of stoppage time as fans of Democrats Football Club (DFC) began early celebrations by relentless sniping at each other, complaining about the purity of local candidates, worrying about ballot initiatives, and dancing to YMCA in the stands.

Sources indicate that head judge Baldomero Toledo is still continuing the game due to a number of down players, close calls, and excessive time wasting that characterized the second half.

“We cannot call the game before the game is complete,” stated national journalists. “However, we have all written our bylines and are just waiting for the end to hit publish.”

With less reputable organizations calling the game over, many of the fans of SS Republican United began simultaneously chanting, “blow the whistle,” while also chanting, "don’t blow the whistle,” as well as simultaneously decrying that the referee was, “blind, deaf and clearly disobeying the police so it makes sense if they take a shot at him.”

Despite the crowd behavior, independent observers across the globe hoped that the match would continue on as it reportedly offers unending drama and, “scenes, mate.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the supporters group of DFC begin changing, “blow the fucking whistle.”