Galaxy Acquisition Falters After Argentina Club Refuses To Accept TAM

LOS ANGELES - The Los Angeles Galaxy’s attempted acquisition of Favio Alvarez reportedly faltered, on Thursday evening, after Atlético Tucumán refused to accept Targeted Allocation Money (TAM).

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Stating, “Ni en pedo! Que es esto?” the directors of Atlético Tucumán were stunned when the Galaxy sent over an offer email that contained an Excel spreadsheet with the words “Targeted Allocation Money” and “1.5 million dollars” in two different cells.

According to sources with the Galaxy, they understood that they would be able to pay the fees necessary for the loan or transfer for Alvarez in TAM. As such, they traded General Allocation Money for Targeted Allocation Money in a spreadsheet data point swapping event with Minnesota United.

“As everyone knows, it is imperative to trade GAM for TAM as we look to remain competitive in the global market,” said LA Galaxy GM Dennis te Kloese. “Securing TAM for GAM will provide us flexibility to improve our roster prior to the closing of the primary MLS transfer window.”

However, the directors with Atlético Tucumán remain steadfast in their opposition to accepting theoretical data points as money as they released a statement in English that read, “We already told LA Galaxy General Manager te Kloese that we do not accept Bitcoin, Venmo, and now TAM. We will be ready to negotiate with the Galaxy when they offer appropriate terms with real currency.”"

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as te Kloese attempts to exchange back his TAM for GAM in order to offer 2 million dollars of fake GAM money to Atlético Tucumán.