Fox Announcers To Call World Cup Games From Footage Of 2002 World Cup

NEW YORK - Fox's World Cup executive producer David Neal told The Nutmeg News, on Wednesday, that not only would the 2018 World Cup Announcers be located in Los Angeles (instead of travelling to the games in Russia), but that they would also be calling games utilizing footage from the 2002 World Cup.

 "Member when everything was better in your life because you don't really remember how it was back then?"

"Member when everything was better in your life because you don't really remember how it was back then?"

"We want to ensure that Americans are invested in this World Cup," stated Neal to The Nutmeg News. "It's important for people in the United States to know that America is still in the World Cup and that a spry Landon Donovan is running around on the fields of Korea and Japan."

Neal indicated that the decision for this came from the simple fact that Fox knows white Americans are absolutely bathing in toxic nostalgia as they long for a time that never existed and a place that never was.

"What better way to forget that we didn't make the 2018 World Cup than hearkening back to a time when all the players were young, patriotic Americans and not foreigners,," stated Neal to The Nutmeg News. "Member when the United States was in the World Cup and racism was solved? Fox does."

"We, with Fox, understand that white America is terrified of this new world in which we are living. As such, we decided that calling games from the 2002 World Cup would make our viewers feel comfortable and safe, like America beating Mexico in the knockout stages in a tournament that ultimately showed we should have a big giant wall on the border. Trust us, this is all a lot easier than asking hard questions about what happened and trying to resolve these issues."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Fox decides to make Mexico v USA the championship game and awards the 2002 World Cup to the United States.