Rec League Roundup: Players Commitment To Offense Only Surpassed By Complete Disregard For Defense

Denver, CO - On FC Aurora, teammates of midfielder Jeff Coogins remarked that his remarkable commitment to offense is only surpassed by his complete disregard for defense as the bulldozing midfielder again abandoned his position to push forward for a chance at goal.

DAMMIT JEFF! GET BACK IN POSITION!

DAMMIT JEFF! GET BACK IN POSITION!

"He's a maniac in the midfield," stated Suaib Hassan, the central defender who has to cover for Coogins marauding runs. "He is fully committed to offense, I'll give him that, but I'm incredibly tired from having to cover him running up-field every chance he gets."

According to sources, Coogins stated, "I'm not tracking back for that shit," as FC Aurora gave up another counter attack goal. Coogins also stated, "I'm OPEN.... I'M OPEN," as he proceeded to abandon his position in an effortless attempt to copy the total football sides of the Netherlands that he read about just recently in Brilliant Orange.

Reports from the field indicate that the game finished with FC Aurora losing 8-4, however Coogins scored 2 of the 4 goals.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Coogins debates changing teams to one where everyone is, "just more chill about this stuff. It's rec-league, man."