Gainesville, FL - Roger Barton, the next Pep Guardiola of Gainesville youth soccer, took time out of his busy schedule day-trading and posting highly potent Hillary Clinton memes to Reddit to flex his tactical genius on the sidelines of his son's U-10 game at the Gainesville Soccer Alliance fall clinic.
"Hey Coach.... HEY COACH! Why aren't these kids in a new proto-WM with diamond formations interlinking the midfield," screamed Barton at the coach running his sons clinic. "Let me draw this out for you so that you can understand some basic formations and playing styles."
According to Barton, he admitted that he learned all of his recent theories by embracing heat maps and passing charts on Twitter after reading the first 100 pages of Inverting the Pyramid.
"I'm just taking what they were talking about in Belgium coffee shops and applying it to the complete bullshit I see on my kid's youth team," stated Barton to the groups of awe struck parents that huddled together on the sidelines. "I know the coach is wanting to play a 2-2-1, but that's bullshit because our striker isn't good enough at hold up play to be able to run a narrow formation where we kick and chase. What is this, 1984 in England? Plus, our fullbacks just hoof it up out of bounds over the other 6 kids without working it up the sides. We need more passing, we need more possession. God in heaven help me, but this coach is ass."
After being asked why he doesn't just coach his own sons soccer team, Mr Barton stated, "I don't have time for that shit," before he was pulled away from the game to answer a reply to his Tinder profile.
"We should be playing a 3-1-1 with our CB and LB winging when playing against the 'Jacksonville Power Rangers' because their right side has a kid with ADHD and we can blast past him, especially when he doesn't want to take his medication. Their left side also has a boy whose parents are getting divorced, so I don't see why we can't use that to our advantage!
'1-2-3-4, Your mom left your dad cause he paid for a whore!'
LETS BE SMART ABOUT THIS, JEFFREY!!"
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Mr Barton convinces the youth alliance to let him be the technical director of the entire youth soccer association due to his 2 year experience watching the Champions League.