Revolution One Step Closer To Losing In The Finals

Boston, MA - The New England Revolution took another step towards their ultimate goal of losing in the finals of the US Open Cup as they defeated the Philadelphia Union on penalty kicks to advance to the semi-finals of the 2016 tournament.

Brad Knighton coming up big.

Brad Knighton coming up big.

"We care about our traditions and our history," stated head coach Jay Heaps. "We know that we are 7 time runner ups in important finals and we plan on ensuring that we keep our legacy alive."

Despite it only being 9 years since the last time the Revolution actually won the US Open Cup, the legacy of finishing as league runners up in 2002, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2014, and 2001 (in the US Open Cup) has continued to show the expertise of the Revolution in making it to the final before utterly capitulating.

"This is our time, this is our tournament, this is our moment to shine before faltering at the final hurdle," stated Kei Kamara to his teammates. "Let's carry this torch forward."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as our interns screw up a mundane fact that we used to have in this place and get fired. YOU LIKE THAT DAVID, THIS IS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU DON'T RESEARCH ITEMS.