Burnaby, B.C. - Mindful of maintaining border control during a contentious United States election year, the British Columbia provincial government announced an effort at settling refugees from the Oregon territory as they stream across the border this weekend to escape the election and future government of their country, Premier Christy Clark says.
"We hope that the federal government will be able to make sure that they have the funding in place to ensure that every refugee has a section in B.C. Place to settle for fans from Oregon of the Portland Timbers."
"The province has set aside $250 dollars to resettle newcomers with Canadian beer as these refugees will need trauma counselling after being forced to leave their homes," Clark said Friday.
"We feel that the best way to treat these refugees is humanely and with the decency not found on the other side of the border," stated Premier Clark. "We expect to see a wash of green clad migrants struggling across the acrid land of the peace arch and arriving on our shores within the hour. We have made our facilities, hostels, bars, and dance clubs available in select parts of the city while ensuring that our coffee shops maintain the highest quality in pour over techniques."
Clark said it’s not known how many refugees will come to B.C., though she has previously said the province is ready to accept roughly 600 of them before the whole thing gets really annoying in B.C. place for the fans that sit next to them.
"Likely we are going to need to open that roof as the refugees from Oregon have not showered after their long journey across the wastelands."
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as British Columbia works on integrating these new members of society into the social fabric of Gastown.