Hey Chicago Fire fans.... sure your league doesn't give two shits about you, and your ownership is a joke, and you have only won once in 10 games with the lowest points and goals scored in the entire league, but here are 5 things to make you feel good again.
#1 THIS PICTURE:
Remember the days before Andrew Hauptman showed up like a bag of piss on a fecal encrusted overpass? Oh sure, that's trading in nostalgia, except that's really the only place to look, currently. And when your team is running on fumes, you might as well stroll down memory lane.
#2 YOUR CITY
It's a mix of 80s, modern and gothic and beauty and harsh starkness all rolled into one. Rolling off state street into the suburbs with the old and the new and the dangerous and the safe, Chicago is a roiling pot of mixed up beauty, safety, wealth, poor and danger. Don't forget that your iconic skyline was the centerpiece for years of Reginald Veljohnson inanity.
#3 CHICAGO BLUES
From Chess Records to Alligator Records, Chicago Blues was one of the most influential forms of music that still endures to this day. The music formed a connection with the feeling on the street as people from the south migrated to the north into Chicago and brought with them their own style of music that fused into the hard grit northern industrial towns. We are talking a music that influenced and set on fire the Rolling Stones.
From artists such as Muddy Waters, Buddy Guy, Mighty Joe Young, Elmore James, and Jimmy Rogers. A musical history that connects the Chicago of the 1930's to today.
#4 YOUR SLEEPING SUPPORT
Remember when Husaria checked into the game and the melting pot of Section 8 turned into a heaving bonfire? The Nutmeg News doesn't judge that things have been dwindling lately. It's hard to really want to show up to a stadium where the team is the worst in the league, the ownership seems to actively hate you and your play is extremely inconsistent combined with some of the worst weather and a long commute.
We don't judge. We just know that somewhere out there are people who are still pissed that the team looks this way, that they want to come out, that they want to raise hell and that they need a reason beyond some new DP that isn't going to pan out and the fact that the ownership hasn't personally insulted them recently.
#5 LIFE EXPECTANCY
According to life expectancy statistics, if you are a millennial or teenager supporting the Fire the current ownership will sell before you die. So you have that to look forward to, in spades.
Likely at some point in the near future, Hauptman will get really lucky with a team because in Major League Soccer it is nearly impossible to be as poor as the Fire has been over the last few years without having a completely unexpected upswing. Then, when someone reminds the current ownership that they still own a team, Hauptman will figure out how to sell it, somehow, to another venture capitalist and you will have a fleeting moment of optimism.
So Cheer UP, Chicago. Likely you have a win coming soon so that you have two wins on the season, and then from there it's a win on the road before you hit two years without one, and then it's only a hop, skip, and jump to the playoffs! (which will, of course, sadly validate your ownership and lead to more disenfranchising of your current support).