Portland, OR - A new song selection for the Timbers Army is proving to be complex to initiate as supporters are reportedly grousing about the implementation of a saxophone, timpani and violin section to the already complex dance moves, cattle herding and imaginary rests required to fully support the Timbers for 90 minutes.
"This song is extremely important to show how much we support the team on the field," stated David Housman, director of the Timbers Army Violin and Cornet infantry. "We require a level of participation and concentration on this piece which will, in turn, show our focus to the boys on the field. It isn't important if the team knows that we are following the game if our Harpists are not hitting the requisite notes in time with the violin's Vivaldi like cadenza."
Reportedly, the Timbers Army is finding it difficult to coordinate this many disparate parts and have them all playing at the same time, requiring volunteers in the newly organized clarinet, saxophone, harpist and choir brigades to all show up for mandatory practices three nights a week.
"Look if we don't nail the transition from the 12th century lute into the gong, we are never going to see Ridgewell clear the ball in time to prevent a goal. This is about us getting our own stuff right so that we can support even better, which will (in turn) drive the team onto victory. My god, if these people can't see that we light smoke bombs and then go into a bongo tilt after a goal, they need to get out of the stadium."
Sources within the Timbers organization told The Nutmeg News that they have reportedly asked the Capos for the Timbers Army to stop shouting "ADAGIO CANTABILE, MOTHERFUCKER... DO YOU KNOW IT?"
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the Timbers Army Soprano Choir claims that organization of the group is perpetuating gender norms under an unfair stereotype that only women can be sopranos.