LOS ANGELES - Gesticulating wildly and screaming at his teammates from the middle of the 18 yard box, LA Galaxy striker Robbie Keane snapped back into mid-season form by angrily demanding the ball placement to be better from shell shocked players on the team during warmups.

"DID NONE OF YOU WORK ON YOUR PASSING?! YOU DAFT COCKS!"

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING," screamed an apoplectic Keane as he ran for second year player Dave Romney after Romney missed Keane's diagonal run. "WHAT WE DO IN PRACTICE ECHOS IN ETERNITY.... AND REGULAR SEASON GAMES! NOW PASS THE BALL HERE, WHERE I AM RUNNING, RIGHT NOW, AT FULL SPEED, FIRST TIME, BEFORE I CALL BRUCE OVER HERE TO SEND YOUR ASS HOME!"

The Nutmeg News can confirm that while many player were taken aback by this torrential verbal diatribe, that most were ready to accept the abuse under the guise of not wanting Keane to scream any more at them about crowding his cartwheel space.