Ex-Player Doesn't Know Why Amateurish Assholes Won't Hire Him To Coach

Baltimore, MD - Ex-player Eric Wynalda once again admitted he is baffled that those amateurish assholes in Major League Soccer won't hire him.

 "Apparently the fact that I wore this kit makes it OK for me to just be a complete prick all the time."

"Apparently the fact that I wore this kit makes it OK for me to just be a complete prick all the time."

"It's a league filled with perpetual dickheads participating in a ponzi scheme and defrauding the youth of America," stated Wynalda to a random group of strangers on Saturday morning. "I think they are the scum of the earth, they know nothing about soccer, and that they are the biggest jerks I've ever seen. I just don't understand why they won't hire me to coach a team."

While Mr Wynalda continued calling the executives of nearly every soccer team in the United States and Canada base idiots dedicated to a secret cabal to keep soccer from becoming a preeminent sport by their lack of insight and ability to think about anything, he also couldn't understand why he wasn't coaching in the league he hates so much.

"If they offered me a job, I'd tell them to go screw themselves and then I'd ask on twitter why I didn't get a job offer. It's the circle of life. I hate/love them so much. The best part is that every time I open my mouth, someone somewhere will cover it as though it is news. It is amazing the longevity I can get saying unbelievably stupid things."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as it continues to happen every year.