The Nutmeg News prints opinion pieces from local contributors, at select times. Today's opinion piece comes from Stevenage Wolfspaw of Austin, Texas. The viewpoints and opinions of Mr. Wolfspaw do not necessarily reflect the viewpoints and opinions of The Nutmeg News.
The soccer bubble is REAL. WAKE UP, SHEEPLE! You may hear people tell you that soccer fans exist in a bubble, but little did you know that the soccer bubble is a real physical thing! Ever seen contrails in the sky over your soccer stadium? That is the gas being dropped over the curvature of the bubble that exists over soccer loving areas to prevent the spread of our socialist and leftist European loving selfs.
Soccer love exists only as a bacterial infection of those with weak constitutions in certain locations of North America. It was brought here by the Spanish during the war of Tallahassee, and has been spreading surreptitiously throughout communities infecting godless atheists with the ability to like European football. The government during the 1980's in conjunction with Margaret Thatcher instituted the creation of force field bubbles which would isolate infectious microbes within the communities that embraced the game, but all this did was institutionalize the infections within groups of communities like Portland, Seattle and Vancouver. Why do you think the northwest loves soccer so much? IT'S A BUBBLE, an ACTUAL BUBBLE.
How do I explain New York City then? I can! The lack of a citywide soccer bubble is why the game is only treated as a 5th level sport. The government, under the auspice of the Hoover administration run by the Rothschild's (who infected the Catalan underground government 100 years ago) attempted to put a quarantine on Cosmos games but the infection spread because they weren't able to contain the prophet Pele spreading the infection outside the quarantine. Thus others were infected, but not on a city wide scale. The people you see at Red Bulls and NYCFC games are the descendants of those infected fans or those that have passed the soccer infection through sexually transmitted contact.
My God, why do you think that the United States deposed the government in Chile? To prevent the spread of soccer loving South Americans to the United States by enacting a soccer bubble. It's the same on the border of Mexico. You think the United States constructed the border wall to keep out immigrants? No. SOCCER BUBBLE. You get too close to the Rio Grande and you start to talk about registas and the greatness of Diego Maradona. This is the construct that the modern fan fights through. It isn't apathetic and downright hostile antagonistic dislike from portions of the United States and Canada, it is those areas reacting against the biological infection which spreads as migrants leave their soccer bubble. We here in Austin have been fighting against this usage of force field bubbles for years as Phil Rawlins was forced by the illuminati and Sunil Gulati to move the Aztex's to Orlando due to the cost to envelop the suburbs of Austin (like Round Rock) into an expansive and expensive bubble.
In closing, SEE WITH YOUR MIND, NOT WITH YOUR EYES. THE SOCCER BUBBLE IS REAL! YOU ARE THE INFECTED QUARANTINED.