Miami, FL - David Beckham, owner of the Miami MLS Franchise that may or may not happen, has announced that he has new plans to build a stadium on the coastline of Miami atop a floating bundle of spent allocation money originally given to Chivas USA.
"This is the only way we are getting even close to Miami" said a chastened Beckham to investors on Monday. "We need a floating island made of allocation money and we need it now."
Reportedly, Beckham attempted to knock down a children's orphanage, a church, a funeral home, and a historical graveyard in order to get the stadium built but was unable to somehow secure the approval of the Miami city council who stated, "We need more of a dance club atmosphere with bottle service to allow such a raze of our cities vital infrastructure."
Beckham has announced that he expects the denizens of Miami to pay for a stadium for a sport that most don't care about in a spot most won't visit for a team that no one knows anything about, because people should care about soccer.
"ITS A REALLY BIG DEAL," said Beckham from London via his publicity handlers on the ground in New York City. "I just don't really understand why this is not working out, but I'll throw more money at it and we will get that floating island built with a high taxpayer burden as soon as possible."
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the new Miami franchise relocates to New York City to become New York City Barcelona FC.