New York Cosmos Summit Top Of Mountain To Claim Somewhat Meaningful Championship

NEW YORK - The New York Cosmos climbed to the top of the second division or third division or first division-kinda mountain to claim the soccer bowl for their own on Sunday as they beat the Ottawa Fury by a score of 3-2.

 KINGS OF THE NASL -- BUT NOT THAT NASL -- THE OTHER NASL -- THE NEW NASL-- NO, NOT THE USL. LOOK, WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THE SUPPOSED SOCCER PYRAMID.

KINGS OF THE NASL -- BUT NOT THAT NASL -- THE OTHER NASL -- THE NEW NASL-- NO, NOT THE USL. LOOK, WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THE SUPPOSED SOCCER PYRAMID.

Playing on the chilly field at Hofstra University, the Cosmos managed to set aside the horrible turf, the thumping PA system, the cheerleaders dressed in skimpy clothes for 50 degree weather, the lacrosse markings and the broadcast that involved Shep "I HAVE OPINIONS" Messing on the greatest internet channel that ever streamed if you have ESPN or a friend that will let you borrow the code in order to watch the championship game online.

"We knew that thousands would be watching so we really went at them" said Raul after the final game of his career that saw him crowned champion of  a small subset of specific teams that elected to not go all in on the insanity of the rules that Major League Soccer tries to jam down your throat with great rapidity and thus formed a splinter league that also has a championship but virtually no coverage which, given that MLS barely has any persistent non-league created national coverage of note, basically means that it was widely and largely uncovered and unknown to have happened.

 RELEVANCE!

RELEVANCE!

The Cosmos have now won two of the three last Soccer Bowl championships and the 2015 Woosnam Cup as having the best record in the league.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the Cosmos continue their quest of propping up the NASL until it finds some kind of nationwide grasp on the collective consciousness of soccer fans in North America or whatever the end game of the NASL is beyond annoying Don Garber and Sunil Gulati.