Time Travelling Man From The 1850s Very Upset By Unladylike Behaviour During NWSL Final

Orlando, FL - Stating, "Mimzi shall HEAR OF THIS," time travelling 1850's man Cornelius West of Fallston Maryland admitted his complete dismay at the unladylike behavior exhibited during the NWSL final, this weekend.

I shall inform the town crier to yell out my vengance towards the fairer sex and we shall confine them to a sanitorium!

I shall inform the town crier to yell out my vengance towards the fairer sex and we shall confine them to a sanitorium!

"I do declare that my delicate sensibilities are QUITE RUFFLED," stated West out loud to any white man he could find within cane reaching distance, on Saturday. "First you tell me that women are allowed to play sports, then you tell me they are allowed to attend sporting events, THEN you tell me that they can imbibe spirits, THEN you tell me they are allowed to do these things in public and then I am subjected to visions of their sporting brutality and profanity! Next thing I know you will tell me that women received the ability to vote and own property!"

West was apparently quite upset to find that Women in 2017 drink, sweat, fart, play sports, yell, get angry, and swear as he dabbed at his moistened brow with a monogrammed silk handkerchief.

"I declare these things all an abomination and descended upon us by an unrepentant society. We must certail these feminine impulses. I have written a letter to the goodly New York Times to express my anger at these unfeminine women. Certainly men, in this age, cannot accept that women are their equal. It will lead to ruinous vexation!"

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as West is nominated for State Senator by the Maryland GOP.