Tradition Of Complaining About US And Canadian Soccer Traditions Lambasted As Not Having Enough Longevity To Be Traditional Gatekeeping

The tradition of complaining about United States and Canadian soccer traditions was lambasted as not having enough longevity to be traditional gate-keeping as online commentators took apart the, “cosplay gatekeepers,” complaining online, this week.

”I dare say that you have quite put me out with these shenanigans.”

”I dare say that you have quite put me out with these shenanigans.”

“American’s truly are the worst,” stated British soccer fan Peter Yarborough. “They do not have the tradition, nor the longevity to perform gate-keeping appropriately. They think that with their silly accents and words like Soccer that they can then disparage their fellow citizens for being uncultured nobs, when in reality they lack the very basis that traditional gate-keeping is found upon.”

Yarborough pointed to recent complaints from, “football snobs,” that he indicated did not have the pedigree to complain about traditions in the United States.

“I’ve been a fan of FOOTBALL for roughly 45 years with my father taking me to Peterborough games in the rain when I was 2 months old and some bellend from Boston thinks they have the right to tell Minnesota United fans they are doing it wrong for singing Wonderwall. No. That is for ME to decide. And I pronounce BOTH of them to be uncultured and uncivilized monsters. The Minnesota United fans need to stop attending games immediately and the fans complaining about what they do at games need to report to Baseball re-education facilities.”

Yarborough went on to claim that there are no actual fans of the beautiful game in the United States and Canada.

“Americans are simply not built to enjoy the subtleties of Bovril, meat pies and football,” stated Yarborough. “Yankees should turn their attention to their own games such as Baseball or Basketball. You simply do not have the capacity to judge football or the people who follow football or the people who follow the people who follow football. You Americans who are cos-play gatekeeping something they do not understand are factually worse than the cos-play fans pretending to enjoy the game. You are all a bunch of amateurs and do not deserve the game.”

For his part, Yarborough went on to praise traditional British football values and ended by saying that, “all football in the United States be disbanded and all fans who have expressed anything about the game be horsewhipped in their town centres.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Yarborough trolls American soccer Twitter accounts by repeatedly stating that, “It’s FOOTBALL.”