Sky Blue F.C. Announce Try-Outs For General Manager And Owner

Piscataway, NJ - National Women’s Soccer League (NWSL) club Sky Blue F.C. announced that there would be try-outs coming for their General Manager and Owner position for the 2019 season.


“We are putting a call out to all people in the Piscataway location,” stated director of communication, sales, merchandising and 2018 midfielder Sarah Evans. “We are on the look out for the General Manager and Owner position for Sky Blue! Just imagine yourself being an owner of this historic Women’s Soccer team.”

Insiders with Sky Blue indicate that the credentials required to own the team is at an all time low with absentee owner Phil Murphy doing the bare minimum to keep the team alive while only paying attention due to political reasons and embarrassment.

“Literally anyone would be an upgrade,” stated one insider. “A sloth with a functioning bank account would do a better job.”

The press release by Sky Blue indicates that the General Manager job requires 4 years of Football Manager experience or six years of simulated experience in FIFA 2018. The requirements for the ownership position were listed as, “a pulse and a memory.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Phil Murphy forgets he owns the team again until another story is written in the press.