Soccer Game Interrupts Vulnerability Remediation And Patching Summit

VANCOUVER - A soccer game between the Vancouver Whitecaps and Sporting Kansas City interrupted a vulnerability remediation and patching summit between sysads of three different Vancouver based companies on Wednesday night.


“Look, all I’m saying is that the fourth quarter patching cycle is limping along towards the year end compliance goals as it relates to… um… WHAT THE FUCK, NERWINSKI,” stated Sasha Milovacic.

“Yeah, um… I was fully in a Tomcat/Java patching hell and I’m never not going to be… um…. HEY BREK, THE END OF THE SEASON IS NEAR. THANKS,” stated Atsushi Yamamoto.

Milovacic, Yamamoto and good friend Carla Cordeiro spent most of the second half talking about their respective professions as they unburdened themselves to each other about the mundane hell of vulnerability remediation, patching, production environments and linux environments.

“I didn’t even have access to upgrade my RHEL6 servers to RHEL7 because the network policy won’t all….. HEY GODDAMMIT BOYS, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE,” stated Ms Cordeiro to no one in particular as the Whitecaps gave up another goal and she took another drink of the $9.25 beer that she nursed.

According to fans around the trio, they spent most of the second half talking because the game was a dumpster fire, they had season tickets and at this point they might as well drink, complain and endure.

“I’d be doing it to if I had someone to talk to about Oracle security upgrades,” stated administrator Frank Devon who admitted to not remembering what it was like to feel joy at games.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as all three of the sysads agree that at least they aren’t assigned a Perl application to support for the rest of their life.