All National Anthems At Copa America To Be Replaced With Star Spangled Banner

The organization group of the Copa America tournament has announced that all future national anthems for participating nations in the tournament will be replaced by the Star Spangled Banner in order to, "get these nations used to the anthem."

"So.... um...... what the hell is this?"

"So.... um...... what the hell is this?"

After the snafu of playing the Chilean national anthem for the Uruguay national team, The Nutmeg News spoke to the head of Stadium Event Staff working the game.

"Uruguay, Paraguay... um.... Chileguay... it was some kind of guay," stated Patrick Stevenson of Glendale, Arizona. "All I was told was to play an anthem, and all the names of these teams are confusing. Hell, I get confused trying to spell Tucson right. Plus, I've been told we are switching the way we do these things in the future."

According to inside sources, a meeting was held with the US Soccer Federation regarding all future national anthems at the Copa America and the two options pitched to fix the problem were to either play Pitbull's Superstar on repeat or to just play the anthem of the United States.

Reportedly a third option of, "play the right national anthem for the right national team" was dismissed on the grounds of being too complicated.

"We just decided to play the Star Spangled Banner for every nation in the Copa America.... They might as well get used to it," stated Sunil Gulati, president of the US Soccer Federation. "I mean, c'mon. Who really cares if we insult the nation of Uruguay. We are still working, for all the millennials out there, on getting Becky G and Pitbull to perform before the final game of the tournament #REGIMECHANGE #YOLO #FLYLIKEANEAGLE."