Major League Soccer Announces Plan To Remove Stars From Teams

NEW YORK - Major League Soccer announced a plan today to incentive soccer teams to continue winning with their new announcement of removing stars from teams that haven't won another championship after six years.

 WIN.... OR ELSE....

WIN.... OR ELSE....

"We felt that there was no better way to motivate teams to play harder than to deny the fact they ever won a championship in the first place," stated president of Major League Soccer Mark Abbot. "If a team has not won an additional championship 5 years after winning MLS Cup, the star they obtained will be removed from their kit and their record of winning a championship will be expunged from history."

Major League Soccer stated that this would immediately affect the Chicago Fire, Colorado Rapids, Real Salt Lake, San Jose Earthquakes, and D.C. United. MLS did announce that an extension would be given for former cup winning teams making the championship game, so the Columbus Crew will retain their 2008 MLS Cup victory for one more season.

"Everyone knows that the best way to motivate someone is to remove everything they have and reshape their history," stated Mr Abbot. "In this way we like to completely reshape the badge and our league to create a more intense competition while removing any history that teams had because they aren't trying hard enough, recently."