Pre-season Result Crushes Area Woman

Arlington, VA - The recent pre-season result that had Swedish team IF Elfsborg winning over DC United 1-0  reportedly crushed the hopes and dreams of massive DC United fan Carla Olafe over the weekend.

"Benny Ball..... Benny Ball..... Benny Ball"

"Benny Ball..... Benny Ball..... Benny Ball"

"She hasn't been able to get out of bed," stated wife Paula Newcombe-Olafe. "Ever since her beloved Black and Red didn't score in the pre-season and lost to Elfsborg she has stayed in bed, only moving to grab something to eat for about an hour on Sunday. It has just been awful."

Reportedly, Mrs. Olafe once had dreams of opening an artistic floral studio that would service the floral needs of the diplomats of the DC area while catering to her usage of whimsy, structural floral detail, and her love of incorporating succulents as a surprise detail in smaller arrangements. She believed in love between countries, true love between caring partners, the beauty of rain and poetry on Wednesdays, the ability of bad movies to be great, the fact that the world can come together in fantastic ways to help humanity, that within the most dangerous person exists a loving and caring person that just needs to be helped to express themselves through the arts, and that dogs are excellent companions for anyone's life.

However, after the 1-0 pre-season loss to IF Elfsborg, Mrs. Olafe reportedly stated, "Fuck that. Fuck Everything. Fuck it all," before collapsing into a large tray of Totino's Pizza rolls that graced the comforter of her bed.

"I'm hoping that Carla will soon be well, because she is starting to get to that, 'maybe you should take a shower stage' of being paralyzed in bed and there are really only so many days she can call in sick before her employers start to get suspicious," stated Mrs. Necombe-Olafe. 

The Nutmeg News will have more on this situation as Mrs Olafe mentally prepares for the upcoming game against Jonkoping Sodra FC.