Sounders' Victory Spawns Protests As MLS Supporters Say "Not My MLS Cup Champion"

The Seattle Sounders MLS Cup Victory spawned protests the nation over as supporters congregated upon town squares, residential car parks, boutique salt stores, and artisanal coffee shops to categorically state, "Not My MLS Cup Champion".

"HEY HEY! -- HO HO! -- Seattle Sounders Got To Go!"

"HEY HEY! -- HO HO! -- Seattle Sounders Got To Go!"

"This injustice WILL NOT STAND," stated Kelly Williams of Kansas City. "They don't represent me or my city. I refuse to accept these fascists co-opting our national soccer league!"

After the Sounders victory, supporters group organizers stood up and said they wouldn't take this Cascadian hegemony anymore roundly rejecting the idea of a Seattle Sounders MLS Cup Champion.

"This championship was rigged. There needs to be a recount of the goals," stated Bill Williams of Philadelphia. "This is absolutely a victory organized by the Koch brothers to pay off Joe Roth's cocaine debts to Uruguayan warlords. COUNT THE GOALS! JUSTICE FOR BALDOMERO TOLEDO!"

The Nutmeg News will have more on our reports as we have news of a massive rally against Seattle's MLS Cup taking place in Portland.