Giovanni Dos Santos To Buy And Sell DC United Roster

LOS ANGELES - New Los Angeles Galaxy midfielder Giovanni dos Santos has announced his intention to take a portion of his rumored 6 million dollar salary to buy and sell the entire DC United roster. 

"It is my goal to not only diversify my money; but, as well, eliminate the competition by buying and selling all the players on DC United and then with every other team in the league until there is only the LA Galaxy left." said dos Santos in a press release.

Given that the Giovanni dos Santos rumored transfer of 7 million dollars alone is more than all but three teams paid for their entire roster during the 2014 season, the Mexican midfielder and national team stalwart should have no issue buying and selling nearly every team in the league.

Dos Santos also announce the foundation of a new initiative in the league for young players, "I also plan to start a Gio's Kids charitable foundation to help pay and subsidize young players throughout the league that are not even making enough money to live on their own. We plan to start with our first player, Jack McBean, and give him a scholarship that will allow him to flourish as a professional outside this league. It is important to give these young players a chance to leave this league so they can come back as a player from overseas and make a truck load of money due to that distinction."

The Nutmeg News will have more on the Giovanni Dos Santos transfer.