Charleston, SC - Before the Carolina Challenge Cup kicked off, small segments of Orlando City fans reportedly reached an agreement to show off their extensive knowledge of Green Street Hooligans, The Football Factory, and Among The Thugs.
“We realized that with going into MLS it was literally like Elijah Wood going into West Ham United” said Gerry Steinblatz, a 26 year old bank teller who traveled up from Boca Raton, FL to support Orlando City. “I mean, this is not our town, not our tournament and we are playing meaningless pre-season games so we figured why not smash up a bunch of stuff, steal banners and act like complete idiots like they do in the movies. I've always wanted to scream ‘journo’ at random people for no reason and this seemed like the perfect time.”
Dan Katzenbjurgen, a 22 year old unemployed Tufts University French Literature graduate, illuminated the situation even more, “We talked about a lot of stuff, most people were in favor of just simply urinating on everything to claim our space, some people wanted to smear feces on the ground to prevent other groups from travelling past our territory, some of us even wanted to engage in a penis measuring contest with rulers and a live stream. However, in the end, we figured that we would just get drunk, at like a bunch of dicks and take stuff that didn’t belong to us. It was a hell of a time. I even talked my friend Bobby into wandering down the street slightly forlornly singing ‘i’m forever blowing bubbles’ while I filmed him. We had a grand old day at the derby match, laddie, and I might be a top boy now, mate!”
The Nutmeg News spoke to an Ultras group with Spartak Moscow about the code and conduct of these fan groups and they said the following, “attacking unmanned tents and taking the gear of fans that don’t even have a team? What a bunch of assholes.”