Club América Debates Buying All Current Major League Soccer Players With Money Found In A Couch

MEXICO CITY - Club América, the most successful team in Mexican soccer history, has reportedly been internally debating the purchase of all the players in Major League Soccer as a money making tool via some random money they found in their couch cushions on Tuesday.

 Club America celebrates despite knowing they were going to win all along.

Club America celebrates despite knowing they were going to win all along.

"We were digging around in the couch that we have in one of the themed dressing rooms in Estadio Azteca," said Club América chairman Ricardo Peláez. "and we found a couple million Pesos that we didn't have earmarked for anything. Probably just a bundle of cash left over from the 8.3 million per year Huawei deal. We understand that we could likely purchase all the players in Major League Soccer with the money we found around the office and we are debating whether it is financially efficient to do so."

Reportedly Peláez and other members of the América board see value in a few players that exist in Major League Soccer but were concerned about what would happen with the dead wood in the lineups.

"We must find a place for some of these players and the only place for them currently is Major League Soccer," stated Peláez.  "So we may purchase all the players from the league to loan them back to the league for placement as the league sees fit. No one with Club América is going to lose any sleep over whether Quincy Amarikwa is getting game time or not. However, we could utilize Giovinco's value to sign a few promising players in Liga MX."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Chivas Guadalajara, in a bold reaction move, attempts to start a franchise in Los Angeles to try to plant roots with local Angelinos and sign players for international development.